YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize