SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize