he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
