at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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