marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't deserve a penis
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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