Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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