week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
