Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
