Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Me too!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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