Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize