I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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