Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
