highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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