I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Green mimosas i think yes
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have aggressive nipples.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
