he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
