I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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