so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
