i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
