awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
