So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Panties = found
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
