It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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