There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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