He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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