i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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