It's just like the Real World with babies
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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