Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
