his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
