he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
