My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize