____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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