i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
