Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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