Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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