I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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