There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
