I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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