I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
