I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
