he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and she was petting her beer can
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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