can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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