You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
