Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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