Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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