A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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