Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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