I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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