why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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