She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize