But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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