I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
