I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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