Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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