So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
