the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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