Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize