This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
