She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
