i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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