I can text with my tongue
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
