I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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