Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
