yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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