I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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