Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
