Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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