"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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