**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
