You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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