I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
