it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
