Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
