i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
