I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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