just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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