East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
