i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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